I still have a few more blog post ideas, but I’ll have to put them on hold for a bit. As a teaser, one of the thoughts are on the Willow Creek Reveal survey (read here: http://tatumweb.com/blog/2008/06/05/reveal/ for some info). I’ll post thoughts on that at a future time.
But, for my 10th and final post, the topic that used to be the bread and butter for comments/eProps/etc., relationships! Then again, I’m taking flip side view of that and that is, the non-relationship: being single. And, the post may end up being very analytical and scientific, so, perhaps not that interesting. And, xanga and blogs are not what they used to be, so again, perhaps no views. But in any case….
I was trying to think of a few titles for this post. Something that would grab the eye and still convey what I was trying to write about. Higmeista came up with: chaste and the church. Great title, but not quite what I was trying to go for. Also thought about, flirt and the fellowship hall, but again, might hit the wrong idea. In any case, on to the post.
I was trying to think about why there are such a large number of singles in the church today and why that number seems to be growing. I was thinking about it in terms of grid and group (see this post for a primer) and was thinking we are unaware of the rules for relating with one another (grid). We are afraid of the consequences of it not working out (group).
I believe this happens because when we’re growing up in our context, we are aware of the rules. But when we are placed in this new church context, one that we have not grown up in and with other people, all we are aware of is the ambiguous, unspoken rule of “don’t be shady.” Most people play it safe in consideration of the group and interpret it as “never interact” but if we never interact, nothing will ever happen.
The solution to this is (as with the fellowship hall post) we can either educate the people involved in how to relate with each other (make the grid level aware) or provide the structure for interaction (supply the grid). Simple short term structures may prove to be fruitful, for example, a speed dating event or something along those lines if we can get past the stigma (make that interaction acceptable in the grid level). Education of the rules for interaction would best be done with indirect communication and would be difficult but better in the long term…OR, I could try to spell them out for you right here:
[to be continued]
